Alright, so twenty five days left until New York with Global Expeditions.
I still have to raise around $300, and I'm not quite sure where that will come from but I'm trusting God with it. Right now I'm working on getting my testimony written so I can get on top of memorizing that and have it ready to share. I'm actually having difficulties with that and talking in front of people scares the crud out of me, but trying not to worry about that too much right now. The flights are booked, I'm flying out of Columbus on the ninth of June, way early, and flying back into Dayton on the twenty-third a little after three in the afternoon. Travel release forms are filled out and sent in, all other permission type things are taken care of, and I'm already starting to think about what clothes to pack :] I need to go shopping. But yea, right now the financial situation needs prayer and also where I am spiritually. Please just be praying for me.

This trip is going to be amazing though. I'm really excited. God is going to do some awesome stuff :] I can't wait. I'll keep the Xang updated and after I get back there will be a full report with photos and everything for anyone who cares. Even though the few that read this will be bombarded with pictures and stories the day I get back, but whatev :oP

Love,
Kaelynne/Jellybear

Hello my dears. I read through all of my old journals from freshman year and the summer following last night and that was a rollercoaster. I found myself smiling, crying, laughing, and getting angry as I followed my little fourteen-year-old-self around through that year. I've changed so much; I felt like I was reading about a completely different person. Even if I am more mature now (... Maybe a little bit?), one thing I noticed about that girl was how much passion and emotional energy she poured into everything, probably to the point it was really unhealthy, but thats not my point. I guess over the last year, the last few months especially, I've lost that ability to put feeling into... anything, really. I just follow where my day takes me and do whatever. I'm never excited about anything anymore, I don't care enough about how I see myself to put effort into my work because I don't care about taking pride in good work, I let things come to me as they will and let them walk right on by without taking the time to enjoy it and treasure the moment... 'So it goes'. The only thing I still have passion about is my family and friends and even that has dwindled a lot. I used to get so attached to people and now my mind has the idea of 'If they leave, they leave. You can't do anything about that'. That very well may be true but it's a pretty cruddy way to think about relationships and probably isn't a good way to think if I want to go about changing that fact. Ha, I remember the days when Xanga was for pouring our hearts out so everyone could know who we truly were and how we felt. I remember fights breaking out because of it lol. Ohmy - Drama. But maybe we had the right ideas in a way... I do miss being open with people about things, I mean don't get me wrong if you're a close friend you know I let every emotion be known very clearly, but I mean I don't like being scared to be vulnerable with people that I'm  not insanely close to already. Idk. I'm just ranting :o) But I really do want to feel that passion for life again like I used to. It's all just a mind set and I guess mine needs to be changed a bit.

I love you all

-Kaylin™

Hello fellow Xangians :]
My grandparents fly into Dayton today at three-ish so lots of cleaning and things to do before they get here, and yet here I am xanga-ing. Ohwell. My parents fly out tomorrow at sixish so they'll be gone long before I wake up. Saturday I have younger siblings to support in the pinewood derby thing lol. We'll see how that goes. Then I'm going to accompany them to their school's "Spring Fling" which is like a mini festival at their school. Theeen I'm going with Rachel to the Brookville play to watch her perform bruh :] then I'm joining everyone in the cast and such and going to BW3s? We think? It's gonna be a crazy day. This weekend is gonna be really busy, but fun. I'm getting some of my support letters out today. I finally got 45 of them printed out last night and now I'm just waiting on my mom to get back from the store with envelopes so I can get them all addressed and such. Woohoo. It's gonna be a long day. BUT we're having enchiladas tonight. OMG. The right food can like brighten up my day so much lol. I feel like a fatty for being so excited about it but mexican food is sooo good. It's like... wow. But ya. I should probably go.
I love you all :]
Muah!

Add: Cuz I'm bored::

Yesterday my mom and I took our three dogs, Sadie, Goliath, and Lowell, to the Butler "Doggie Bath" which is right next to the car wash, and operates like a car wash with the quarters and spray thing and such its so cool haha. I told Rae about it and I took my camera just to show her what it looks like. Here they are: Look at sadies awful face haha omgoodness. And Lowell nearly had a panic attack.

-Kaelynne/Jellybear